Freedom is such a strange piece of life to conceptualize. Freedom is inherent to life, and yet we as humans have invented a new kind of freedom as opposition to another human system of imprisonment. There are now theories and books and blogs and media about finding freedom within yourself. That true freedom comes from a place within, so that no matter where you find yourself in this human world, you can be free within yourself. And though I tend to agree with that mostly in a philosophical sense, it’s also bullshit.
Eunice Waymon once said, “I’ll tell you what freedom means to me: no fear. I mean, really, no fear.” And doesn’t this ring truer than “freedom comes from within?”
We live in this world inexplicably, we exist here, and though we have been attempting to know why for as long as there is recorded humanity, there is no way to know for sure. And in this attempt at understanding ourselves and our existence, our purpose, we have constructed symbolic systems to ease communication, like language. But even language is symbolic. The word “tree” will conjure a different image for every person. You may see a tall pine, or the twisting leaves of a cottonwood branch, a logo you saw on a backpack, or even just a feeling. But when looking at a pine tree, that is the tree. Just that one tree, but it is itself in existence, perfectly imperfect. And there is no human language that can accurately describe that tree in a way that can be understood by everyone in the same way, in respect of that one tree.
I do love language. If you know me, you know that to be true. But with the heights of glorious language come deep, abysmal darknesses. Miscommunications and poor translations have haunted us for millennia, tortured us, and made us slaves. There is a passage in Genesis in the bible that speaks of human dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. I am not a biblical scholar, and I do not claim to be. But I have read countless essays on this passage, as it seems to be a great source of evil in the world. This passage is an English translation of an ancient language, from a source written by people, then edited and redacted to fit a power structure and political narrative. And as far as I can tell, in reading about this very passage, the word “dominion” had a connotation of responsibility. Yet our politico-christian narrative uses this term as a synonym for domination time and time again.
And so, in this brutal history of utilizing faith and the concept of god to dominate those around us, every creeping thing, we have found a need to conceptualize freedom as antithetical to our own domination. There is fear in the non-human world, but it is fleeting. And when an animal finds safety after a fear response, they shake the cortisol from their systems and go on living their lives. But in the human world we do not function in this manner. Fear drives so much of our existence, and so many of us exist in a low-level state of fear. Quite a few of us live in a much more omnipresent state of fear. Animals do not traffic one another. They do not dominate others in order to gain power. These concepts are purely human.
And so to live as a human with no fear is no easy task. That is why Eunice Waymon’s words ring so true. This is why when I hear a Nina Simone track I picture the sunrise. Constant, fearless, an indescribably beautiful force of nature, free and glorious and holding the essence of life itself.
As a child, my visualization of freedom came from stories of water nymphs. Delicate, beautiful creatures, naked and free, bathing in waters upon which sunlight dances to the rhythm of nature herself. To this day, when I am overwhelmed with grief and fear in the presence of domination culture, I still picture this existence. Naked, pure, water, and sunlight, caressed by the whispering world around me. And yet I now know that these stories of these nymphs are not just moments of freedom, but moments of brutality as well. For they are human stories.
And so we continue fighting. Fighting in the hopes of finding moments of freedom and peace. We fight against oppression, against tyrrany, against those who believe their symbolic concept of existence is more valuable than others’ actual existence.
And we do need to find the concept of freedom within ourselves. I have met many people over the years who have thanked me for creating a safe space, a space where they feel they can truly be themselves, even when they cannot find that in their own homes. This is both overwhelmingly beautiful and devastating. I am so deeply happy that I have been able to provide people with this space, and completely heartbroken at the necessity for it.
First, be free with yourself. If we all did this, we would no longer need the symbolic concept of freedom, as we would know it intrinsically, and we would never feel righteous in taking it from others.